How to create what you love and uncover your character
Create what you love and uncover your character
To create what you love I want to talk about what you are already doing, what is authentically emerging as you go about being you.
Incase you think that means this won't involve anything new, I can tell you now most articles don't include thinking the way we are about to.
Most articles about creating what you love focus on the external effort and associated actions. The fundamental difference between us is in the expression; "keep the eye on the prize". The mainstream school of thought is to look forward to what will be. I am reminding us that the prize sits within, is far greater and more relevant than we could ever imagine with our minds alone, and is asking for the fuel of inner attention.
There is a lot in this article, it is packed with reflective questions etc. (I couldn't hold back! It's something I love...) Notice which step is most relevant for you right now. Highlight it so you can be really aware of it in your everyday moments which are full of gold.
Creating what you love involves delving into what is alive, genuine and natural - and bringing it forward in full and with conscious effort. And this is why we uncover so much juice about our own character in the process :)
1. SEE YOURSELF CLEARLY
Do you acknowledge that the gifts, which come into your life, come from your own yearnings and creation?
Character is creative! It is constantly at work, constantly being expressed. It is part of what is absolutely unique in you.
We are pretty funny, us humans. We try to give ourselves credit and control on things we really can’t and don’t control, yet we struggle to celebrate all those things in us that we truly birthed, evolved, and succeeded with.
There is so much going on within you all the time. One of my favourite quotes is “life is the greatest story ever told” - but really I think it is you, me, us... You are a great story being lived.
You need to celebrate yourself, across many contexts; when you struggle, when you relax, when you get something done, when you get a sense of what you are longing for. These all are moments to see yourself more clearly. Deepen your experience of this right now. It could be lying in bed tonight, deeply rest for a single breath and allow the juice of the day to sink in. It could be smiling at yourself more regularly, a friendship and sense of humor from you to you is worth having. To see yourself clearly you have to check in regularly.
The appreciation squad really begins and ends with you. We need to be generous with ourselves, not stingy or withheld. Holding back doesn’t make life safer, it doesn’t protect you; it feeds insecurity, which is simply not acknowledging who you actually are.
Every day, 24 hours, anywhere from 14-18 hours of being awake, there is no reason to not have learnt or witnessed something new and wonderful about ourselves.
2. NOTICE WHAT IS ALREADY TRUE
Most of us find this difficult. We are told to look forward. Seek new horizons. What about what is already here? What about surging forward from what is already strong or known in us. Some people say they don’t have much to go off. When working with people I find this is never true. Even a painful experience highlights resilience in us.
What are 3 things you know to be true about you that are worth carrying forward?
Look at your experiences to date that have shaped your character, if you make this conscious you will be consciously creating. Your character is shaping what comes next regardless. Notice what you value about your character so it can become brighter.
3. DON'T MISS THE GOLD
Here’s an example of how we miss what is already here and it’s effect on creating what we love. We finish a big task, an event is over, we graduate, we leave a job, and instead of stopping for a moment to celebrate who we just discovered in us – we jump straight into the next thing.
Who was driving all of that? It didn’t just happen, and we don’t just cope. Regardless if we loved or hated the process, it was us who got ourselves through whatever just happened and there are nuggets of gold to take from what we found out about ourselves.
When we don’t take that pause to see ourselves clearly, and quickly move to the next thing, we offset the good feelings. It’s called a Completion Barrier. You might know it as a drop in energy, a let down, a depression or a stagnant space. It drives us forward into perpetual busyness, and it fails us.
If we avoid diving in during a life transition, then we miss growth and the ability to lift ourselves higher in what we are creating. We miss out on ourselves.
After completing something; whether a tiny task or a large life chapter, take a moment to sit with yourself. Listen to the experience you just had, whether it’s a learning, simple appreciation, new skill, vision or understanding. Don't miss it.
4. RESPOND COURAGEOUSLY
Creativity is an ability to respond, as our unique self, to any and all situations.
What I love about this is when we courageously move towards what we love, we don’t hold back any longer (you will know this by a surplus of energy!) Creating courageously includes looking at what we don’t want or like, and what we fear. Yes, this resistance already existed and by looking at it directly, it allows the elephant in the room to return to size!
Working with what we don't like
Life becomes painful when we want something badly, yet feel like what we need is just out of our grasp, i.e. "if we could just change this, or control that, it would be amazing". As soon as the focus is on something outside ourselves we become completely preoccupied, lose freedom and self-satisfaction.
Here is where we need to turn the task the right way up again. To see what we’re trying to control on the outside we need to know it within ourselves. We need to know this thing we want.
The beauty of the external world is it shows us what we seek. Then we need to bring it back home (internally). Traditional cultures refer to it as ‘center of the self’; we either hold this center within our core and become very useful to ourselves, or we displace it into our surroundings and become very frustrated.
Write your response to the questions
How do you want to be seen?
How do you want to be acknowledged by others?
What you want to be given to you?
Commit to seeing these things in yourself.
How will you acknowledge it in yourself and give it to yourself?
It’s very human to want someone to love and admire us, but this also makes us dependent on them. When we commit to creating what we desire within, we begin an authenticity that spreads into our surroundings like a wildfire because it requires us to live it.
Working with the fear
This is what we call Name it and Tame it. We know through scientific research and our own use of biofeedback that when we state what we are afraid of, our entire nervous system, emotion and mental state changes within 2 seconds. Within 2 seconds the body has self-regulated and we are full of resources and very clear. If we avoid naming (acknowledging) it, the anxiety response and our emotional brain is chaotic. This is really simple, with a tremendous difference that you will feel in your body.
Being honest with yourself is all that’s required to have what you love. Respond to yourself all the time. Notice how you reflexively respond to what is before you. Be alert and alive to it. This is the doorway to a true sense of control, and feeling deeply energized by your decisions and reality.
5. WHAT'S ATTRACTIVE? WHAT'S NECESSARY?
Imagine everything you seek in order to create what you love… All the things you value, need, consider beautiful and necessary.
Overwhelming isn't it?
Here’s something I do to never limit myself while still inviting clarity in.
I practice giving open, undivided attention to my day. All the time we fluctuate between being attracted or repelled. We have a constant back and forth of energy input and output. Notice what you appreciate, what you care for, what you attend to. We create more of what we love simply by noticing it, welcoming it.
Also notice what takes you away; jealousy, comparison, competition or insecurity. I feel this as a leap out of myself. Bring it home again. Whatever you are seeing in another person or situation put it as a question for yourself.
What do I value about this?
Where does it exist in me?
It could be it’s not high enough on your personal values, or that you only started caring about it right now for other (less authentic) reasons. Regardless the thing you admire in another will either genuinely grow in you, or the need for it will dissipate.
When we have a conversation with our insecurities, it’s amazing what we find.
"It is not only the external beauty (you seek) - but the beauty of personality, the beauty of character, that is the real beauty. If we did not worship it, we should not admire it in other people. We cannot appreciate anything without beauty of character" ~ Hazrat Inayat Khan
6. FLOW – IN FULL AND ABSOLUTELY FREE
All of the above is about returning to the core and being in right relationship to ourselves. When you say “I want to create what I love” you can feel it’s origin – from within the place that knows, trusts, cares, is empassioned and alive.
To create from a place of deep flow we need to listen. The outside world with all its stimulation is of value when we bring it to our internal point of reference, the center. Here we can digest what is real for us and what is not.
When we stay close to the heart of things, our center, we generate a stronger field around us creating stronger outcomes. The world responds directly to us, all the time. This is a natural law, this is ‘flow’.
Flow is free because it’s more about allowedness than it is about change or effort. We see it everywhere in nature. I look outside and see the garden lush, damp and dewy. The critters and animals come naturally, effortlessly because it feels good to be there.
All you love, must be found existing in you. It is birthed in you first and foremost, and made real here. Then you can create from here, expand from here, draw power from here, and watch out, it is truly contagious!